Missing in Action
Hey people, sorry for being out of touch. The adventures continue. So far in the last 10 days I have managed to narrowly dodge disaster a number of times. I never did manage to explain my rant from 13 April, but don't worry, I'm working on a version of it that doesn't need additional explanation for the May issue of Ruckus newspaper. I'm also working on an anti-anti-panhandling rant, but I don't know if I should ask Ruckus to publish two rants at once. Does anyone know someone from Eat the State?
So I am presently hanging out in Colonia Libertad, staring wistfully at the gorgeous volcanoes that surround us here and drowning in a pool of sweat. Yes, I know, that's gross. It's terribly gross to go through, too. Today, for example, I went through three shirts. I am getting more accustomed to the environment, though; now, when mosquitoes bite, my bites don't swell up and excruciate me. Of course, I have been using a fair amount of cortisone and DEET. Yes, I know, chemicals are awful, but I have discovered that I am not above using them in certain situations. Of course, finding the construction materials to repair this house adequately would be a much better option, but I honestly wouldn't even know where to start. Probably with the failing concrete on the southern wall and the broken windowpane in my room.
People keep asking if I'm going to have a girlfriend while I'm here. This is a typical tico conversation topic. Even the people who have long-term partners and/or spouses often make jokes about who they want to be with. I am, of course, modest to a fault and so I'm holding out on them. But I'm going to have to learn the banter somehow. Flirting is part and parcel of this culture, and as long as it's just flirting, it doesn't seem like anything's off limits. People accept that risqué comments are fair play, giving rise to the expression "él que se enoja, pierde"--the one who gets angry loses.
The community is a little shocked by my agnosticism. Yes, there it is in writing, my agnosticism. It's hard for them to understand how I can be so doubtful and yet know so much about religion. I don't blame them, I've been wrestling with the same question for years. Nobody seems to mind, though. It's actually nice because it reminds me of the days when agnosticism would have shocked me. It was hard for me to imagine a world without a god when my world was still relatively small. As I began to fill my head with various philisophies and scientific observations, the concept of divinity seemed ever further out of reach. I suppose that from a biblical perspective, this could represent a form of idol worship, whereas from a secular perspective it might tend to reinforce the concept that spiritual beliefs are a replacement for empirical knowledge. Of course, traditional ecological knowledge usually manifests in spiritual form even though it embodies the real-world experiments of multiple generations. Maybe this means that Nietzsche was right, and that religious beliefs are reserved for the masses, while exceptional people must make and follow their own code. But what if those who think they can make their own code suffer the same fate as Raskolnikov did in Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment? I digress.
The first few weeks here have definitely been somewhat Augustinian, but thank the Lord, I've survived. I have a great relationship with the children and teenagers in town. Most of the adults are pretty nice too, but a lot of them seem skeptical. I don't blame them. I have definitely come to appreciate a lot of things about my gringo lifestyle since coming here. Just as the rainforest of Ecuador taught me that I am not a shaman, living here in the country has definitely shown me what a city boy I am. Aside from this house (in which the refrigerator is snoring and the toilet is whispering), I have missed being able to feed my constant addiction to high-speed technologies and I have missed having more than just Snickers bars to choose from in the junk food section of the store. I miss my cars. I know, it's terrible, but I do. I feel like I don't have much freedom of movement here, even though I have been taking day trips all over the countryside. I miss fans. As soon as I find a good fan, I am going to chant nam myoho renge kyo ten times.
Most of all, I miss the people back home and our little everyday interactions. It's amazing how isolated you can feel after a few weeks of not having a drinking buddy, or an activist group, or some old friends, or just a bunch of rowdy pro-union folk to hang around. Of course, isolation can bring solace as well, and I have definitely had my fair share of thinking time lately. I've been playing a lot more guitar and reading much less than I expected. I've been spending a lot of time teaching. Today, for example, I started teaching at 8 in the morning and finally finished at 7 at night. Granted, there was a two and a half hour break in there, but that's still nine and a half hours of giving classes. There is definitely a need for me here, and that feels good. The smiles of the students are the only payment I require.
I'm off to bed--it's really late here, considering most people are up and around by 6--but I look forward to posting more soon. Hopefully I'll find a connection where I can upload some pictures. My posts should get more detailed now that I am moving more quickly through the transitional period and becoming more in tune with my surroundings.
From Colonia Libertad,
Chaim S. Eliyah
No comments:
Post a Comment